Motherhood Story: with a loss trigger warning

My journey to being a mum wasn’t easy. I was very unwell for the entire pregnancy, and at our 20-week scan, we found out that our little boy most likely wouldn’t survive or wouldn’t live a quality life outside of the womb.

We heartbreakingly lost him in December at 23 weeks and 3 days.
His name is Reid. He is our angel, our brightest star and the love of our lives.
Reid was so very wanted and loved from the very beginning, despite how difficult my pregnancy was. We had his name picked out long before we knew he was a boy. I always knew it was him. I always knew I’d be a boy mum.

I don’t have it in me to share a photo of Reid himself, as for some, it’s quite confronting. But I will tell you this:

He had the most perfect nose and lips. His ears were so cute. His hands and feet were so big. He was perfect.

I dreamed of celebrating my first Mother’s Day with a baby in my arms.

Instead, I will lie with the pillow he slept on, hope for a starry night to talk to him and cuddle the blanket my mother-in-law still made for us.

Here is a picture of our boy’s handprints and footprints:

Kindly shared by:
Ilana Mackay